Rhetor Maximus!

Today in class, we started doing 'balaagha'...and it's really interesting! Balaagha is one of the 'ilm al-lugha' - the sciences of the language, the others which are 'nahw' (grammar/syntax) and 'sarf' (morphology - conjugation, declension, etc). I really like less and less how Arabic transliterates.

Balaagha would correspond with the classical Roman art of rhetoric. Isn't it so cool to be learning rhetoric and pretend that one will be a 'rhetor'? We started off doing metaphor and simile (tashbeeh), and she gave us the example of, 'al imra'a ka-tha'ban' (the woman is like a snake)...oh I nearly died laughing, especially when she said that wouldn't do, and changed it to 'ar-rajul ka-tha'lab' (the man is like a fox) - and then all the girls objected.

Balaagha = the good one.


So yesterday, our new housemate moved in. She is Bulgarian, and so far, alhamdulillah, things are going okay. I feel really cautious about how it will all turn out, though.

Bulgarian food is nice! I want to learn EVERYTHING about how to cook it.

'The door is open...'

'I spend so much time hoping or trying (rarely, actually, more former) to get people to be introspective and begin searching...not to give them a target or a route, but simply inspire the need to search...that when someone does embark on a journey of some kind, I grow hopeful they will find something...but the object they find can only be worthy of what they seek...if they look with closed doors, they often find something quite other than what you might like...they have to look wholeheartedly and with a desire for the truth - and nothing but - and try brace themselves for it, shed the arrogance - in order for it to come to them... those who look aren't abandoned, not if they truly look .'

'If the truth sets you free, then you have to want freedom. and you cannot want freedom if you set out looking for the truth with a set of preconditions for what form it must take when it finds you.'

- Moments of Clarity, Someone Wise.

Planet Earth!

Oooo, I really really want the Planet Earth DVDs. Waaaaaaaaaaaant.

The Blue Planet/Planet Earth DVD set is no longer available.

:(


I think when I go home I will branch out into Attenborough-fangirlness. Possibly costly hobby, but SO VERY, VERY WORTH IT.

Alternatively, I could illegally download it off the internet. Woo!

Toast...?

I have been thinking.

And yes, for those of you who ask, it did hurt.

What also is hurting is the backs of my calves. I think I burnt them with the heater. Much like the way toast...toasts.

But yes...I've been thinking. Maybe I need to think about it a bit more. But...I think I could deal with staying in Egypt for three or four years, once I get the language part down. Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

Flowers are red! Green leaves are green!

I have a rose on my head. A lovely velvet rose.

Level 6 is hard. I already know this after one lesson. For a start, there is an Iraqi in our class. That is scary. Strange though it may seem, I am actually really really bad at speaking Arabic, and the better people around me are, the less I speak. I mean, alhamdulillah, I love grammar and I can read and write fine (but I need to learn the handwritten-script to write faster), and none of that is a problem. But conversation! ACK x 888.

Al-rajul al 'ankabut (Spiderman) is on TV now. Arabic dubs! And we make a habit of watching Detective Conan, too ^_^ (that's 'Case Closed' according to Tokyopop), in sweet Arabic. ^_^

Maybe I will try and con Maaherah into starting a conversation group. Especially for me.

six six six

Today is our 6th monthiversary!

Strange, strange.

Six down, six to go, but the six past seem to be much shorter than the six to follow.

-_-

I been swindled.

I feel so stupid. And so swindled.

-_-

Exciting exciting things!

Exciting exciting things! I was in AR and I just met this Londoni-Bangali lady! Which just proves that Awlad Rajab is, in fact, the centre of the universe! I was moseying along a) looking for that brother, Abdur Rahman, and b) shopping, when I thought I heard a snatch of Bangla...and then I was like...nah. But the guy looked bangali, alright, and so did the kid, and I couldn't see the lady's face, so I hovered nonchalantly around them for a little bit, pretending to be an idle shopper (more idle than normal, that is), and I heard it again! It was definitely bongla! And then I was like, apne ki bangali? And she was like, ji! And then there were fireworks and the shurtas were called to take away one loony bongali XD No, not really XD

I forgot that bangalis always ask where your graam (village) is. Isn't that strange? And then I was like, Noakhali and she said she knew someone who was from Noakhali, but lived in Dhaka - and it turned out to be Nasreen (who is also a med student at King's)! And Rukhshana from Strand who did maths - and then we compared uncles we knew (everyone knows them). I say 'we' but really, I was doing most of the enthusing and comparing XD I don't know my phone number, how useful XD so I couldn't give her it, but she gave me hers, and told me that there were more East-London bangalis right here in Madinat Nasr. Of course, I do actually know that - dad met someone he knew from East London here, and so did Baya (or maybe baya met one of our customers? la atadhakkar). But isn't that so cool!!! I hoped we might meet some banglishes at Markaz Fajr, but there aren't really any there, apart from us - they're all Russian or Somalian or American or something...couldn't even discover a Pakistani. Who'd've thought I'd turn out so fond of my bredren compatriots? But, you know, don't miss 'til it's gone, etc.

Bangalis!

Okay, new topic.

It's hard waking up early. It is - no matter how early you go to bed, it vitally sucks having to get up early. And today was no exception - I found it even harder than usual to open my eyes. I was awake - my mind always wakes up very quickly, and then engages in talking my body into getting up, too - but I just couldn't open my eyes....or at least...I opened one all the way, and the other one...it was jammed. I'd already lurched out of bed and was on my way to the bathroom (for the mirrror - too dark to see the one in my room) when it struck me that maybe my eyelid was swollen up or something. It was swollen all right - like the swollen-grape eye of Dajjal. Isn't that horrible? And there were bites all over the left side of my face, bright red lumps, and on my neck, and even on my arm. I remembered that I woke up in the middle of the night with an itching finger. Oh merciless mosquito! (what a fine alliteration ^^)

So I went to school with this Dajjal-eye, and everybody carefully didn't comment on it. And then Samiha came in!!!! I was SO EXCITED to see her!!!111 She was in my class in Level 2, and we were CHUMS, and then she went back to France to have her baby and do the ID card thing, and now she's back. She looks ezackly the same (taba'an).

Oh and also today we had our new teacher - turns out to be Samia Saghira (one of the other Samias). She's fun and interesting and I do enjoy her lessons (we had her for a lesson before, about the Russian woman who eats people). Also on blown-up-eye day. I felt horribly rude throughout the lesson when I wouldn't look up when she was talking to me (I couldn't - could only open eye about halfway), and then to look up, I had to crane my neck upwards XD XD That must've been a sight XD

Now that I think about it, many unusual things happened today. With a grapey eye. Sigh. Vanity in the plain! Really. XD

The Markaz are offering qur'an classes for their girlies again. I went to see about them and have my hijab in a twist about it all. XD See, we can all read but we don't know the names of the tajweed rules: they teach those in the 'nursery' level. That would be kind of wasted on us. So I asked if we could do private classes tailored to exactly what we want/need, which they said was cool, but they won't let Abdullah with us. And they also said it was 30LE an hour - only for the three of us (girls). Which kind of doesn't work for us. I can't afford that much for only the three of us, and it also doesn't solve Abdullah's problem which is the most important. It all kind of sucks. I was getting all excited again, too. And it's been nearly 6 months now. Long.

:(

my teacher just phoned to say we don't have lessons for the next 2 days, and that after that we have an ustadha jadeeda. I don't want an ustadha jadeeda :( I want ustadha Samia :(

:(

And I didn't even get to see her for our last lesson because I felt too ill to go to school :(


:(

I hate it when people leave. I hate being left behind and I hate leaving.

I wish she hadn't left :( She is such a lovely person, and people didn't appreciate her.

I miss her already. :(

And it seems Maryam really has left :( She was the chum supreme. :(

In the wee hours,

Baya's just left, and there is a curious feeling of desolation. I really am very sad that he has to leave us - when will we get used to this succession of departures? If there is something we've overdosed on, farewelling is one thing, and anticipating England another. And for some glorious moments we imagined internet at home XD - extremely wishful thinking.

We had one of our parties yesterday (we have one every month on the tenth; it's our 'monthiversary' party) and it was a dismal flop. Today, we didn't really plan anything party-like at all, but it seemed to spontaneously happen - even without our 'aflaam al-utlah' - and it was pleasant and comfortable. We had nice food, and happy tempers - the invaluable condiment.

Mum and dad phoned during the party and told me to say things to everyone, and I was like okay, sure, outwardly but inwardly all, huh? Me? kayfa? But I told mama I would, and plus, it's a family way for us to sit together and have our meetings whenever we are about to separate. I am sad baya is leaving - has left - we may not be the best of friends, we may have trouble even being on talking terms to each other - but for all that, we're family. And Family is Family is Family. If you haven't family, you likely will never understand how thick blood can be - when nothing ties you but blood and the deen.

'Emily was up against one of the contradictions of human nature. She was learning that you may fight with your kin--disapprove of them--even hate them, but that there is a bond between you for all that. Somehow, your very nerves and sinews are twisted with theirs. Blood is always thicker than water. Let an outsider attack--that's all.'
- Thicker than water, Emily Climbs


Wise woman, Lucy was.

Sana Jadeeda!

Woah, new year already.

Anyway! Baya is here, and boy is it a strange story - but alhamdulillah he is here safely.

Lots of things! Mum and dad sent lots of cereals again (yay) and they even sent a big 4-pack of beans! It's funny about beans, but I don't think it's all that. When mum was coming, I was desperate for anything from home, but I think that desperation's spent itself. Maybe it's that we've finally settled in and I'm not so desperately homesick anymore - we've passed the stage of denial, and have come into acceptance. I'm having fun finding new foods and making new things, and making work what is available here. I'm still kind of *blink* about having the brainwave about making fuul into beans and making our own ketchup and stuff.

And oh wow, mum sent eid food! She was sad when she came that she didn't get to cook special khana food for us but she sent a two whole big containers of pholau and tandoori and even baza maas fried fishies! She knows we don't really eat fish here, and we certainly don't have the nice kind we have at home, so we're even looking forward to eating it! It's like opening a treaure chest!

Okay, I gotta start at the beginning of yesterday. Ish. Seeing Baya the first time was like, *blink* - he's so tall and bearded and stuff. It's so comforting to see his beard. That's probably the bit of him I was gladdest to see - it's like, look! An honest to God beard! I kind of instinctively trust someone with a comforting beard - a nice, well-kept, well-covering beard. There's something honest about it. All those men with their cleanshaven pretty-boy faces looking like girls - wear your beards, gentlemen!

So anyway. After the fiasco of Saturday night, we arranged with Shamim Baya to meet him at the foot of the building at 2.30 am, and then go to the airport. So when he turns up one hour before, and says I'm downstairs, are you coming...well, no. No, I'm not. We arranged to meet at 2.30. Why are you here and 1.30? WHY? And then you tell me to come anyway? NO. We arranged an AGREED TIME. Don't come at an ungodly time and tell me to go somewhere and THEN get mad with me. I'm a girl and I'm not related to you. Don't treat with familiarity like I can or will traipse out with you at any hour of the night. So he got mad and said, fine, I'm going on my own. Anyhow, I'd been waiting for ages to watch TV (XD) so I wasn't about to leave at the part I wanted to watch most (where everyone Jack dies)(it was Titanic XD XD). So I was like, fine, whatever.

Grumpy, grumpy.

?

Have a strong headache - had it all yesterday, on the left side of my head. I don't think it was a thirst-headache, because that feels a bit different - more like a tightening crown, and this one is more crushing down one side of my head. Cold now - been watching the temperature fall half-degree by half-degree since August, first with eager joy, now by apprehension. Seem unable to type O_o

On Wednesday, after the imtihan, I was walking homewards with Nadia, and she put fifty pounds into my hand, and said it was a present. When I realised what it was, I was shocked! I tried to give it back, I told her I couldn't accept it, but she wouldn't take it. I didn't know what to do - I didn't want to make a fuss but I also didn't think it was right for me to take it, because I don't need it. I mean, true, I'm economical and watch the piastres, but it didn't warrant aid. She absolutely wouldn't take it back, and there were no convenient pockets for me to deposit it in either, so I had to hold on to it. I thanked her rather stiltingly for it, only because it was the only thing left for me. Dad wouldn't be pleased at all - he would say how could I? And I wouldn't be able to explain how I had to. I feel ashamed myself - not, I hope because of pride, but more because I know I haven't the need of it, and it is a misplaced charity - no, not charity, gift. If Heidi was still here, I would have given it to her.

Oops, sorry XD

I'm sorry I haven't posted any updates recently! I've posted up what I've been writing at home, so there's a whole bunch of backdated ones.

John:
I'm so sorry about your sadness :( I think I understand at least a little, and I hope it gets easier for you. There isn't really much anyone can say or do to help, I guess - I think it's one of those things that you just need to work through at your own pace, in your own way. I hope everyone around you is helping to ease your mind and keep you busy when you need it.
I'm always really interested in your comments, so I hope you'll keep them up; even my sisters enjoy reading them. Also, next time you see Sophie, can you pass this address on to her?

(Also, I'm interested in a job in September! I don't want to work anywhere but BTP >_>)

Re: Ruth and being mugged: that back door is asking for it. It always has been, and I've always hated it - do you think you'll finally be able to get a spyhole put in it, at the very least? I've been after that since I started. We REALLY NEED IT. (Did you notice how I say 'we' like I still work there? XD)

Do you know who did it? Was it one of those estate rats someone we know? I hope she's okay! And don't forget, get the spyhole. How are we ever to even know who we open the door to without one? It could be, you know, one of those December Mondays, and there're only three people working, and it's 7 o'clock...etc. Always hated it. *shudder*

Get the spyhole!

Crunchy Leaves!

It is strange to write the date as above. It feels like the last thing to December. If we were judging only by the faculties of the senses and expectation, without recourse to calendars and watches, I would think it April, or maybe early May. Of course, until you are away from what you are used, you don't realise you have a habit - or indeed, sense - of the changing year and seasons. So of course, there is a clash of fact and sensibility, producing what is altogether an interesting alloy of confusion. As a faithful devotee of autumn and its sundry delights, this is perfect - I can only lament at there not being drifts and drifts of crunchy brown and red leaves - I know I spend all year waiting for the bushery (I know that isn't a word :P)(it is now) next to the old railway line (near my house) to start accommodating the season: the leaves go first yellow, and then bright vermillion, from the tip of the leaf, upwards. It looks like it's dripping redness.

I took photos of it last year (when I still had my camera)(*sigh*).

---

"Dear, dear Norland," said Elinor, "probably looks much as it always does at this time of the year. The woods and walks thickly covered with dead leaves."
"Oh," cried Marianne, "with what transporting sensation have I formerly seen them fall! How have I delighted, as I walked, to see them driven in showers about me by the wind! What feelings have they, the season, the air altogether inspired! Now there is no one to regard them. They are seen only as a nuisance, swept hastily off, and driven as much as possible from the sight."
"It is not every one," said Elinor, "who has your passion for dead leaves."
- Sense and Sensibility

.

These broken shoes
They've done some walking and

Through all these holes
I touch the ground and it feels

like home.

I don't need anything.

Haya Mustawa Rabi'

My toes are cold. I forgot to mention that we've started a new level. I'm so grateful I got the 8 o'clock class I asked for; everyone else's is at 11.15. It's so much more practical for me to have this class - it means I actually have time to do things after. Really, it was such a boon that mum was here for exactly the remaining duration of the last level, because I might've died if I had to the stuff I normally do and homework. So Level 4. I still feel like I don't really know any Arabic at all. How can that be? What will it take? I figure I might get up to about Level 10 before next August, inshallah, which is actually just one level shy of the complete course. Regret at not being able to finish it but for one course briefly crossed my mind, but I really can't bear the thought of staying here longer than necessary. Like everyone else, I just want to go home. If we have lots of time at the end of the last level we can do, I hope we can come home early.

John - do you miss me enough to give me a job again in August/September? Please? Think of all the benefits! You won't need to train me, I'll have another language to add to your repertoire, and and and! Everyone LOVES ME because I'm SO NICE. You can't really argue with that, right? *hopeful*

I'm actually really dreading going home and not having a job/munny. I have to pay for my course at the IoE, and I definitely don't personally have that money. Actually, part of why I agreed to come to Egypt this year was if dad would be so kind as to pay my fees the coming year (gosh, expense upon expense :S) - I've always wanted to learn Arabic, and it was always part of my master plan, but the timing had me a bit sideways. At the point where I came up in discussions, I'd already been accepted to read my course, and I was anticipating it and preparing for it, etc. So yeah, big change of plan, had to request a last-minute deferral and everything (the result of which I found out after I got here XD).

Need to start heading to the chicken *blink* ...to the kitchen. I don't know what to do for dinner, too un-bothered. I wish food would cook itself.

...

Mum left last Wednesday (15th), and we all went to the airport to see her off. When will Allah allow me to see her again? There is something else, though - before she came, there was something about being here...strandedness, desolation, maybe? But since she's been here, it's like the house has absorbed her presence, as somehow it feels like she's still here - maybe she's in the other room, maybe she's sleeping - maybe. Because she has been here, even if she isn't now, and the house remembers it. I can see her, sitting on the piano stool, I can hear her moving around in another room, I can feel her sleeping. I can feel her happiness in being with us, equal only to our happiness to be with her.

--

I just slashed the inside of my left ankle quite deeply. I thought I'd cut it on this sharp corner of glass, and I looked down and I was right, and it was bleeding black. Then I was like, oops, bloods! and bobbled away to wipe it with something (only found a tissue)(previously used to wipe my nose). But then it just carried on bleeding and I couldn't even see where the cut was, or how big. Heidi and Z just sailed on out the door, and Tabassum and Abdullah just moseyed away, so I was like, 'oh. No one's going to see if I'm okay. Okay.' It was slicking with blood, and by the time I got to my first aid stuff it was all over my sock and still coming, but I couldn't first-aid it on my own, so I had to call those two anyway. Didn't want to though. Abdullah and Tabassum were my ambulance - they wanted me to say that.

It's starting to hurt now. XD

-

'Many were the tears shed by them in their last adieus to a place so much beloved. "Dear, dear Norland!” said Marianne, as she wandered alone before the house, on the last evening of their being there; “when shall I cease to regret you!—when learn to feel a home elsewhere!—Oh! happy house, could you know what I suffer in now viewing you from this spot, from whence perhaps I may view you no more!—And you, ye well- known trees!—but you will continue the same.—No leaf will decay because we are removed, nor any branch become motionless although we can observe you no longer!—No; you will continue the same; unconscious of the pleasure or the regret you occasion, and insensible of any change in those who walk under your shade!—But who will remain to enjoy you?"

- Marianne Dashwood, Sense and Sensibility

I've been entertaining myself rather delightfully with doses of Austen - I've always meant to be well-er-read (:P) than I am, instead of accidentally pretending to wit and intellect. I've been something of a Jack-of-all-books (master of none) - I know very well what I ought to have read (and recommend very readily to other people what I haven't read myself) but there is much reading of people dead and wise, yet to be done.

Ironically, that makes me rather like Emma (if you've read it, you will know ^_^).