Now found at -

- The Rock Pool -

Oh, and we leave, inshallah, exactly two months today. Oh I don't want to go home. I'd really much rather stay.

We just had the end-of-level exam on Wednesday, and they told us the day before (in our 2.30 AFTERNOON class), that the exam time was changed to 8am for us - so wham goes the I'll-revise-all-morning plan...or rather, it mutated to 'omg-I-have-to-revise-all-night-mummyyyy'.

You know what is really REALLY sucky about coffee? And tea, for that matter? I can have a sip of coffee, and it'll keep me awake all night. A simple cup of ordinary tea knocks me into the land of insomnia for at least three days; more than a glass of any caffeinated drink = at least four days; a can of Mountain Dew = please God, helpmeIneedtosleepbutIcan't; the first (and only) casual taste of coffee = an entire week. Since then, it has only been drunk on occasions of severe need (such as before a dissertation deadline) - but I haven't got to the really sucky part yet XD - which is, when I NEED it to keep me awake, it just...fails. Just like that.

I have one little Egypt-scar, on my ankle, from that day Mez and Heidi were going to the doctor's and I cut it on the glass. I didn't realise it scarred until months later. My burns vanish fairly quickly, and I burn a bit more than I cut.

...that sounded wrong. XD

It is hot here now. It hovers around the mid thirties outdoors, and indoor temperature fluctuates between about 27 at night to 32/33 in the day (which is actually rather unusual - the temp. tends to change very slowly degree to degree). Temperature-watching is oddly satisfying - when you watch the degrees fall.

We discovered the Siraj Mall the other day! And the Technology Mall - which is a computery-person heaven. I bought a mini-tripod for my camera for 25.00LE - a bit painful to my Egyptian economy (no single thing can cost more than about 8ish quid, okay?), but in English terms it is less than 2.50...anyone want me to bring one back for them?

Oh and the Siraj Mall had this big pool full of bumper cars - how cool is that?? Dodgems in WATER.

Okay, so next is Level 9 - this is where we finally begin to look at actual primary works, like Ibn Kathir, and Ibn Khaldun (how cool!!!), and other notable scholars and writers - and also poetry. I've been looking forward to poetry for nearly EVER.

I watched a programme on Iqra' (a satellite channel) yesterday, and I pretty much understood it all - without having to go through the mechanism of translating it into English in my head first. It was so interesting. I understand a lot more than I can actually speak - I just can't remember these things when I'm talking, so I'm a bit dumb with it.

I've been reading Abdul Hakim Murad recently, particularly this one on gender identity. He kind of does in writing what Hamza Yusuf does speaking.

...I am afraid this rather has become 'merely an electronic record of my existence.' XD

A few days ago, I had a rather spectacular series of falls and/or near misses, putting me in mind of one friend who has a similar talent for self-injury (haha). Don't ask why I didn't see the big flaming sign on the post - it was at EYE-level, for god's sake. So BONK, and then while busy laughing at my own idiocy/absentia, I managed also to nearly slip on the wet tiles outside Baraka (restaurant next to our building), and then started laughing even harder. I sound funny when I laugh - so people were staring at this weird clumsy niqabi who apparently has a zealous inclination to obey gravity (it's the law!).

The best part is yet to come! The day after, I had the most glorious fall down a (short) flight of stairs (don't ask me how - it was dark), and my poor anatomy will testify to said fall in RAINBOW COLOURS. I sat down with pain after that, believe me. And my clothes were all sandy, which was a rather more immediate tragedy. And this random girl saw. I think I've become more like my brother when it comes to falls - they just make me laugh (I imagine watching it, and then my mind supplies me with replays - so funny XD), and the more it hurts, the harder I laugh. I laughed reeeeeally hard.

I feel boring today. We are studying 'al-khilaaf al-zawjiyya' in class - marital disagreements - which would be educational if I was married, and even more so if I didn't already know all about them. Yay.

So now I am in Level 8, there are only three people in my class. I wish I could stay in Egypt for a few more months. Trouble with wanting something too much is that the disappointment is almost exponentially worse when it doesn't work out. The other trouble is, it won't work out just by dint of you wanting it so much. XD

---
I think this came to me at the exact right moment:

A warrior of light carefully studies the position that he intends to conquer.

However difficult the objective, there is always a way of overcoming obstacles. He seeks out alternative paths, he sharpens his sword, he tries to fill his heart with the necessary determination to face the challenge. But as he advances, the warrior realises there are difficulties he had not reckoned with.

If he waits for the ideal moment he will never set off; he requires a touch of madness to take the next step.

The warrior uses that touch of madness.

For - in both love and war - It is impossible to foresee everything.

---

Abdullah keeps on saying, 'don't beat around the bush' and he won't shut up. Somebody's cranky today. Okay, back to Pita Ten.

(edit: now he keeps saying, 'it's be-yoooo-ti-fullll')

I am eating cornflakes with mango juice and typing with two fingers.

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?"
"Because I need to" she said.
"I don't understand," he said.

His mother just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," his dad answered carelessly.

The little boy, still wondering why women cry, finally asked the wise old shaikh. "He surely knows the answer," he thought.

"Shaikh! Why do women cry so easily?"

He answered, "When Allah made the woman she had to be made so special. He made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. He gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that comes from her children. He gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining. He gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child hurts her very badly. He gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart. He gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly. And lastly, He gave her a tear. This is hers and only hers exclusively to use whenever she needs it. She needs no reason, no explanation; it's hers."

"You see my son, the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the beauty of her face, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Now Mezzy-mez has left, too, and there are only three of us in this big, huge, airy house. If we wanted, each of us could sleep in a different room. But really, we are all sleeping in the same room. It's a big dark empty howly house!

I just finished reading a book by Gene Stratton-Porter, 'Her Father's Daughter.' Normally, I'm a really big fan of hers (particularly for Kate Bates), but this book was a bit...disturbing. I haven't looked up when it was written, but it is a lot about the Japanese threat to the US, so I'm guessing around WW2, and full of all sorts of things that made me flinch - lots about 'Japs' and the 'yellow peril,' and a great deal more about good white American boys and girls, and the 'white right to supremacy', and that white man creates and innovates while other colours only steal and imitate, and will eventually bring about the downfall of good Americans by bleeding them dry. I'm quite aware that books must be taken contextually, but still. Wince wince, flinch flinch.

My housemate told me at 4.30 this morning that she was leaving to go back to Bulgaria for good at 9.30. Whew. That was quick. Still a bit surprised.

So I've come to the conclusion that there are only two types of people in this world: those who can share a kitchen, and those who cannot. I am sorry to say I belong to the latter group. I just can't do it with any equanimity.

Sandstorm!

A couple of days ago, there was a big sandstorm! There was one before, but we were at home that day anyway - this time, A'ishah (friend) and I were smack-bang in the middle of it. I think I walked most of the way with my eyes closed, holding on to her. She was lucky, wearing her triple-layer niqab - I was only wearing a single XD And even through that, I felt sand in my mouth! And when I got home, I realised that some windows were open, so the beds, clothes, floors - everything -was covered in a very visible layer of sandy, gritty dusty stuff. And everything was yellow - the day was yellow, in a sulphury kind of way.

Anyway, there we go. I'm sleepy now. Bngrzciao! (That's Italian for 'kthxbye')

...a HANDBAG??

I signed in with the intention of saying something specific, bu-

Oh I remembered ^_^

I watched 'Emma' yesterday. It was disappointing. I really enjoyed the book.

Also, the Importance of Being Earnest was on yesterday, as well. It wasn't even disappointing - it was just plain bad. The old one was most excellent - Lady Bracknell ftw!!!11lol1 ('A HANDBAG????!') This horror was barely amusing. I mean...if funny was hair, then there was as much funny as there is hair on a balding man's head.

ouch

You know, I bought a 512MB flash drive for just under thirty pounds some years ago. I was the first person I knew to own one (I really needed it). It's kind of painful to look at a 2GB flash drive for a tenner. It hurts my sense of economy.

ouch

I got woken up today by ARGH MORE PESKY BITES. I have a comet-shaped bite (tail and all) on my forehead. I beat the bed around a bit to make it go away, and lay me down once more to sleep, and within a minute, there it was! ANOTHER BRAND-NEW BITE.

Robbed! Of blood! Of sleep!

*wave*

I stopped at the supermarket on the way home from school today, and as I was about to go in, I spotted the others coming, so I waved really BIG-LY at them (so they'd notice I was going in and wait for me), and these two guys who were sitting on the wall in front, like, waved at me. Really widely. Ahahaha, they must've thought I was waving at them. So I was really embarrassed and ran away and they realised I wasn't waving at them and got embarrassed and ran away, too.

Imagine! A niqabi waving at two strange men. I don't think so. XD

But it was very funny.


In class today, I was thinking (class being that twilight between waking and dreaming) and I was feeling very sorry that I'll be leaving so soon (iA)...because there's still so much to learn. Even if I finish Level 11, there's another four advanced levels after that! So finishing isn't really finishing, and I've a hankering to stay and do them all. After all, if I go home, do my course for two years, and then...then I'll have forgotten all of this stuff that I've taken so much trouble to learn. And really, it is amazing: I've learnt a good few languages, but Arabic is something completely else. I can't really explain it...there's a sense of the infinite, to it, or...I don't know, yeah, I guess that's it.

Or divine. Yeah, that works.

Slate & Artefacts

I have a burn on my hand in the shape of Sauron's eye, all red and romantic-looking. Haha. Oh, and that time I slashed my ankle? I have a scar there, now. GO EGYPTIAN ARTEFACTS.

So then we did the muntasif mid-level test - it was short. But it was hard enough to make up for the length of previous ones. When she was going through it, I counted eight mistakes...this could be the worst test so far. There was a bunch of stuff I just could not parse/parsed all wrong, and another cluster of questions full of words of whose meaning I had no clue.

I realised something about UK testing and ghair-UK. See, in UK tests, the aim is not to get 100%. Take university for instance: the marking system is much 'harsher' than in the States. All those JYA students with A averages come here go there and get depressed and confused because they're going from 90s to 60s. We know better of course. 60s = good mark. 70s = spectacular. No one gets 90s. Pretty much. Unless, you're, like, [name removed]. So anyway: the UK system is supposed to reflect the idea that there isn't a ceiling to excellence, and material outside of what is taught = super extra credit. Who gets firsts? People who do extra. A US 90 = about a UK 70. See? Potential.

So yeah, the point was, Markaz Fajr is very American about their marks.

I meant to come home and sleep. The Return of the King was on last night and I forgot but I was revising anyway. Also, I have discovered a fairly interesting news site (http://www.slate.com/). But note that actualy reading the articles is more interesting than listening to the podcasts.

(some photos)

These have been lying around for a while. May be repetitive.


The Internet Cafe! Our home from home from home.


The 'Metro' - suburban not-quite-train/not-quite-tram


Horsy!


The last sunrise of Ramadan


Out of our bedroom window

888

Blah, I have the mid-level test tomorrow.

Meh.

23? 13!

I'm looking at a 13+ entrance exam for science.

This is a question:
What will tend to happen when the north-seeking pole of a permanent magnet is placed close to the north-seeking pole of another magnet?

The word 'rafada' came immediately (and insistently) to mind, and I could not remember 'repel' until a long time later.

Also, I was looking at the entrance exam for French. Oh dear. I can answer the whole thing in good Arabic. Hal atadhakkar ayyi shay'? La! Do I remember anything? Of course not. XD

So after about a minute of memory-straining (this is a small eternity in terms of brain-time! Brain-time = milli/microseconds), I finally managed to repress 'madinah' and very painfully recall 'cite' (e-acute :P)

And I'm looking at the maths one. I can't actually do some of it. What are products of prime factors again? XD


Other dumb things I did today:

- Tried to call a couple of schools. Why won't they pick up?? Oh yeah, that's it. IT'S SUNDAY. Which in that part of the world, is known as 'the weekend'.

- Feel asleep in class. Again. But in a very ostensible way, this time. (Head back, daydreamy smile, complete confusion upon waking, and inability to open eyes fully XD)

I'm sure I will have more to add to this list. The day is young!


Oh, and I watched 'Pokemon 4ever'. Which actually was quite nice.

...the noose is tight, so shall it be torn.

The Dark Night
By Babar Ahmad
HMP Manchester


The night is dark and there’s no sign of light.
The tunnel is long and there’s no end in sight.

The road is thorny and the path is steep,
There’s no time to rest and no time to sleep.

The air is thin and the rope is tight,
There isn’t much energy left to fight.

The ocean is deep and the brine is cold,
The lifeboats of rescue have all been sold.

The forest is thick and full of peril,
At every turn are snares of the devil.

Seething serpents in every crevice,
Snarling hisses full of menace,

With crocodile tears and a stiff upper lip,
And venomous bites that cause steel to rip,

With fake smiles and eloquent words,
As sweet as nightingale singing birds,

With shiny suits and well-groomed hair,
They entice victims into their lair.

The world is ruled by crocodiles and snakes.
The world is ruled by frauds and fakes.

Diversity and multiculturalism,
(Are just fancy words for state racism).

Fairness and honour are things now extinct,
Justice and power are two things distinct.

Power corrupts and gets to the head,
It enters the blood and turns gold into lead.

Years without trial incarceration,
In what is supposed to be a great nation!

The rule of law and human rights,
Have melted away into silent nights.

Those who claim moral superiority,
Only instil hatred into the minority.

Those who care fear more for themselves,
And thus leave their values on the bookshelves.

So where are the bearers of valour and nobility?
Where are those who stand tall in adversity?

Where are the men who stood up to power?
And dismiss the urge to hide and cower?

Where are the men who have a conscience?
Why don’t they put an end to this nonsense?

Where are the knights and where are the scholars?
Who worry about more than their pennies and dollars?

Why do they fear to correct that which is wrong,
Then justify it with words that are so long?

If they can’t walk the walk, they shouldn’t talk the talk,
But sit at the table with their knife and fork.

How can it be that men are born free,
Yet they prefer to live in slavery?

Grovelling and bowing to the snakes on thrones,
Slavering away until they turn into bones.

But what good is there in a life of disgrace,
Where every second is spent saving face?

What is in the dark must come to light,
All then their lies will be swept out of sight.

For truth is a stallion that never fails its master,
If it is suppressed it gallops even faster.

The victims of injustice are thorns in the side,
Like bleeding arteries they never subside.

Until the oppressed are returned their dues,
Their plights will remain headline news.

The Day is approaching in which tyrants will weep,
As they have sown so shall they reap.

That is the Day: Judgement Day,
When the One Most High will have His Say.

The night is dark but it will soon be dawn,
Since the noose is tight so shall it be torn.

The night is dark but it will soon be dawn,
And there a new era...shall be born.


-END-


Babar Ahmad MX5383
HMP Manchester
February 2007


Brother.

Theoretic Tolerance?

"Let our meaning be quite clear; we have no intention of blaming practical tolerance as applied to individuals, but only theoretic tolerance, which claims to be applied to ideas as well and to recognise the same rights for them all, which if taken logically can only imply a rooted scepticism. Moreover we cannot help noticing that, like all propagandists, the apostles of tolerance, truth to tell, are very often the most intolerant of men. This is what has in fact happened, and it is strangely ironical : those who wished to overthrow all dogma have created for their own use, we will not say a new dogma, but a caricature of dogma, which they have succeeded in imposing on the western world in general; in this way there have been established, under the pretext of 'freedom of thought,' the most chimerical beliefs that have ever been seen at any time, under the form of these different idols, of which we have just singled out some of the more important.

Of all the superstitions preached by those very people who profess that they never stop inveighing against 'superstition,' that of 'science' and 'reason', is the only one which does not seem, at first sight, to be based on sentiment; but there is a kind of rationalism which is nothing more than sentimentalism disguised, as is shown only too well by the passion with which its champions uphold it, and by the hatred which they evince for whatever goes against their inclinations or passes their comprehension. Besides, since rationalism, in any case, corresponds to a lessening of intellectuality, it is natural that its development should go hand in hand with that of sentimentalism... "

- Rene Guenon